Thursday, May 7, 2009

Delightfully Optimistic Yet Cautiously Realistic

Thursday, May 7, 2009

6:15am: Woke up early today, which is strange and shocking for chemo week. I attribute it to the 28-30 or so hours of sleep I've gotten since I came home from work on Tuesday afternoon. It's just means tiredness will hit me around lunch today at work instead of around mid-afternoon. The Thursday of chemo week (as long as my treatments remain on Mondays) is the day I start to feel a little less foggy. I'm still tired on those Thursdays and I still have the headaches through about Friday mid-day, but I start to feel a little more normal. I don't truly feel myself until the following Monday (well, as "myself" as I can feel these days), but Thursday is what I might call my "turn-around" day.

As difficult as this treatment was--I had more nausea, more distaste for food, more headaches...

Side note: Headaches this time were brought on by the chemo and worsened by the fact that the city chose to test the tornado sirens 4 times yesterday in the middle of the day and there is one not even a half a block from my apartment--for those of you who don't live in a place where they have tornado sirens, let me just say...THEY'RE LOUD!

...more tiredness, and more side effects in general. I was warned that each treatment would be cumulative so this is to be expected. Despite all that, the good news that I got at the beginning of the week overshadowed everything and made it VERY HARD to be too upset about chemo side effects when one of those side effects is that the tumor is shrinking!!!!

I haven't had a follow-up MRI, mammogram, or ultrasound yet, so there is no HARD evidence that it is indeed shrinking....but.....let me just remind everyone that I found this in the first place myself. It was a hard knot that felt very near the skin and I could truly feel the whole thing on all sides. Now...I'm having a hard time finding the thing at all!!!! I can feel and feel for it and I gotta tell you...if this is what it had been like a month and a half ago when all this started....I NEVER would have found it. I know it's still in there, but it's absolutely not as prominent at all after only 3 of 8 treatments.

As positive as I'm being and as positive as things seem to be going now, nothing is certain yet, so I'm trying to stay grounded and realistic. Things look good, but I still have cancer. It's still in there and until it's gone, I plan to stay grounded--optimistically grounded.

For now, I'm going to work on rebuilding my strength for my coming good week. I'm really planning on hitting the gym--very lightly hitting the gym--a few times this coming week. I'm feeling squishy these days and I was getting so toned before this began. If I can't pull off gym work then I may just try some yoga or pilates, but I need something for sure!

Everyone stay healthy out there and I'd like to wish a slightly early Happy Mothers' Day too all of you mothers out there! Everyone remember to call your mothers this Sunday. I know mine has gone above and beyond her motherly duties so far this year driving back and forth from OKC to KC, cleaning my apartment, feeding me when I'm too tired to get up and get it myself, driving me to appointments, and being generally awesome! So, an early Happy Mothers' Day, Mom!

Love to you all!

1 comment:

  1. Yes, you really do have a SUPER mom! Do you know that she actually offered to help clean my house and drive me to appointments when she found out about my cancer! She loves you and wants to do everything she can for you. You and she and your guys make a great team. kath